The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
Laughing stock — cattle with a sense of humor.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.