CHARISMATIC: Only one. Hands already in the air.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PENTECOSTAL: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PRESBYTERIANS: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ROMAN CATHOLIC: None. Candles only.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
BAPTISTS: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
EPISCOPALIANS: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
MORMONS: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
UNITARIANS: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of, or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
METHODISTS: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or a tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday; bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
NAZARENE: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
LUTHERAN: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
AMISH: What’s a light bulb?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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